Friday Happy Hour: Old Drink, New Jokes

10 Comments
3 minutes
June 3, 2016
Andi Gleeson

Fresh Margaritas - The perfect balance of tequila, Cointreau, lime juice, and agave nectar. Cheers!

Thanks to some unfortunate technical difficulties, I’m not able to bring you a new drink recipe today. Instead, I would like to urge you to try my all-time favorite cocktail: The Fresh Margarita. I know I recommend this one all the time, but I still don’t think it gets the attention it deserves. If your idea of a margarita involves pre-made mix from the store, you must, must, must try this margarita recipe. It is the real deal, and you will never go back!

Since I don’t have a new recipe, I want to share some cocktail humor based on some funny things I’ve seen lately. Up first, the Coronarita, which claims to be “the best of both worlds,” those worlds being a frozen margarita and tiny bottle of Corona. I guess a drink that starts with a so-called margarita coming out of a Slurpee machine can only be improved by pouring beer into it. I didn’t order one to find out.

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I did have a margarita this week, and what it lacked in beer it made up for in size. Meet the 26-ounce El Jefe from only the finest strip mall Mexican restaurant. It was not too bad, but the lack of salted rim was a big disappointment. The Pants and I had to walk it off next door in the Hobby Lobby while the grandparents took the boys home for bed. We really know how to live it up.

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Speaking of margaritas, I recently found the most erotic bottle of tequila I’ve ever seen. If you are looking for a gift for a bachelorette party, why not pick up a bottle distinctly reminiscent of male anatomy?

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If you prefer silly over sexy, then this Wine Monkey is for you. As someone who doesn’t have much space in her house for nonfunctional doodads, I tried hard to think of an actual purpose for a sock monkey wine cozy, but I came up short. Would you want this adorning your bottle?

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Finally, let’s talk about vodka. I am all in favor of vanilla, citrus, or cinnamon vodka, but the flavors I’ve seen lately are out of control. Take for example cookie dough vodka (not to be outdone by its cotton candy neighbor). I’m not a fan of raw cookie dough anyway, but how on Earth did it become a cocktail mixer?

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Who doesn’t love glazed doughnuts? Why should that glazey, doughy flavor be reserved for baked goods when you can have it in a martini?

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Finally, I leave you with this: Swedish. Fish. Vodka. Something is wrong in this world when the worst kind of gummy candy is infused into a perfectly good bottle of booze. If you’ve really got a hankering for boozy candy, I encourage you to try these vodka soaked gummy bears instead. Now THAT’S a treat.

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Andi Gleeson, food blogger

Andi Gleeson

Andi Gleeson is a passionate blogger and mom based in San Francisco who focuses on easy and delicious dinner recipes.

10 comments

Fifi
11 years ago

Margaritas are my absolute favourite cocktail. Might have to go make one now ;)

The Weary Chef
11 years ago

Is Fifi your new pseudonym? I like it! At first I thought you were someone new until I saw your blog name. Then I thought, “Wait a minute! I know all those French words!” Is tequila a popular spirit in the UK? Hope you were able to make your own tasty margarita!

Liz
11 years ago

love this Andi–you have an eye for shall we say interesting liquor bottles and such? Did you ever read Boozehound? It has an entire chapter devoted to how horrible it is that all these candy-like vodkas are on the market. You found some doozies. It was all great reading :-)

Not sure if I’ll make happy hour with you as I’m expected at a friends for dinner shortly. Kids are out of school and everyone seems to have scattered (Girl Scout camp for one and my husband took the younger to see his folks in a smaller town up north). So. I. am. all. alone. Whaaa? This will be good for sure, but I shouldn’t make this margarita before heading out. Or should I? Will see what kind of time I have…

Hope your week has gone well. Looking forward to your summer menus and all the fun stories that will come with them.

The Weary Chef
11 years ago

Hi, Liz! I’m glad you aren’t too disappointed about the lack of new recipe today. How lucky you are to have a weekend to yourself! I get scared at night if I’m home alone, but it’s nice to have freedom to do as you please during the day. I hope you had a fun dinner with your friend!

The Weary Chef
11 years ago

I forgot to say that I haven’t made time to read Boozehound yet. I’ll order it this weekend!

Melissa
11 years ago

OMG, I love the “unique” ;) tequila bottle. I wish I had a bachelorette or birthday party coming up! lol

I would love it if you would link up some of your wonderful recipes with me on my Foodie Friday Blog Hop! You can list your old faves and find new ones while you’re at it! (and I know my readers will love this one!!)

Hope to see you there!

Melissa
A Room for Two with a View

The Weary Chef
11 years ago

Hi, Melissa! Thanks so much for your comment and the invitation to your link up. This week has been nutty because of traveling, but I’ll try to get there fashionably late tomorrow.

Ellora @Creatively Southern
11 years ago

Love this Andi! Laughed so hard at these. Yeah. I’m not into the gummy fish and as much as I like cookie dough, not so much on drinking it. :)

The Weary Chef
11 years ago

Thanks, Ellora! I need to come up with some sort of cereal and milk flavored vodka and make my fortune…

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